Wednesday, June 05, 2013

What was done in the dark

As soon as I saw him I knew. I knew something would happen and it would be something big. Not just a silly flirtation. Something that would shake me. 

Jersey asked me to lunch and with out thinking I told her yes. I didn't question who'd be joint us. I just figured it was an opportunity for me to meet someone from a different division. She's an older woman with a strong New Jersey accent. She walks with a slight bend from all her years of hard work and she has a slight hard shell around who she really is. She'd asked me to join her for lunch so I grabbed my coat and bag and followed her to the elevator.

She stopped at the door and yelled over to him asking if he was ready to go. And that is when I saw him. I'd seen him. But never really seen him. Knowing myself I think I intentionally avoided direct eye contact with him. Those eyes. There is a little bit of everything in those eyes. And I could not LET myself drown in them. I am here to do a job. I told myself. I warned myself to stay away. But the second he smiled at me I was lost. There was no remedy for it.

He walked over and opened the door for she an I to exit and his clean sexy smell clouded my thoughts. I knew. From right the. And there. I was lost. 

The three of us had lunch and I realized he over talked. He controlled the conversation. He was in charge. I couldn't stop myself from falling. From being entranced by him. It was inevitable . That smile.

 In the weeks to follow we would eat dinner together as a group.he and I and The other members of the team that had been brought together to work on this project at our corporate office. But most times it was just he and I and jersey. 

We'd formed a team outside of the team. Jersey the mom and he and I her cubs to be protected. All and all he and I were falling. 

One night he and I made silly videos with an app on his phone.. Laughing and joking as we usually did. He asked laughed as he asked me for my number to send me the videos. I didn't even realize what was happening. I drank wine and grew tired. Said my good nights. 

One in my room I got a text from him asking for my room number. I complied because he was in charge. 

Minutes later he was sitting on the sofa of my hotel room drinking water and watching Hgtv with me. He wrapped his fingers into mine and laid his head on my neck and I was lost. There was/is no finding me. Don't send a search party. Don't make flyers. Don't call 911. It was/ is over for me.

I. Jenny, the lost cause. 

He kissed me that night. Nothing else. Just soft sweet kisses that made sense. Everywhere they were placed made perfect planed out  sense. He kissed and kissed and kissed and I was drunk. 

I didn't even care that this was NOT what I was here for. This was what I wanted. Fingers everywhere... Hands rubbing and grabbing... Tongue And soft lips And the just the fact that HE. WAS. IN. CHARGE. 

From that day I did what I was told. With a complacent smile. 

Then suddenly he was gone. 

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