I got the boyfriend blues.

So my boyfriend and I are going through a rough patch. It's a weird type rough patch though.

We are different people. From different backgrounds. with different out looks.

His mentality is still so immature.

In his mind we are not a team. We are not building anything together. It's still him doing his thang...and me doing mine. Every person for themself. We're together but seperate.

Right now I'm in a place in where, I'm thinking I'm ready for the next step. What ever the next step is. Whether it's moving in together, getting engaged having a baby....what ever!

And I feel like Vh1 is not there. Not even close to being there. He's still trying to figure hisself out. Still not settled in what he wants to do with his life. Still not fully realizing his potential.

Last night, he told me the only thing he is sure about in his life is the fact that he loves me an wants to be with me.

What the hell does that mean?

I feel like I'm standing on a cliff waiting for him to get to the top. I feel like I want to jump....

Is it me?
Am I just set in one I feel the logical progression of a relationship should be?

I really don't know.

I haven't written a post in so long!It's been what 4 months!? WTH!? Where have I been...

Not much has changed since 4 months ago...I guess.

* I'm still with Vh1. I love him still. He's still my bestfriend.

* Folks are still hating on us...I'll have to write about this later.

* We are trying to move this along at our own pace. We sort of kinda live together a little. Well he's at my house EVERYDAY. He has a key, he pays bills he buys groceries...but...we don't offically live together.lol...as a matter of fact he's about to get another apartment... lol...just weird...but it works for us.

* MY is good. She's 7 now. She lost two teeth...FINALLY. She got a flat screen tv for Christmas.

*I still work at the same place.

* Still live at the same place.

* I got a car for Christmas..a black Chevy Impala.

* Vh1's car is tripping...is it wrong that I don't want to let him borrow my car?

*I sold my old car to Sonystudios.

* so far so good....

*God Bless you internet sweeties!

Is it me or is this just nonesense?

I didn't get a chance to finish my post yesterday....I'll try again later...

Any ways... I gotta write about VH1 and our arguement last night.

Like I said last post we went to Six flags with like 10 of friends (most of them mine). Vh1 told me before hand that he really didn't have any spending money. I told him it was cool. I really wanted to go..since My daughter's coming back next week and I really won't be able to go out with a big group of friends anyway. So I told Vh1 I'd treat him. He was hesitant at first but he agreed. We rode with my friends so we didn't have to pay for gas, we split the cost of parking so it was only $7. Tickets were 50% off ($20 each)and we used my AAA discount for food so food only cost ($19).


So we had a good old time. Laughed and joked and got on all the rides.

At the end of the night, we were all getting snacks and suveniors and what nots. I wanted an ice cream. But in my pocket I only had $4. (the ice cream came to $6.03. So I came back out to the rest of the group and told everyone "Oh well I guess it wasn't meant to be. No ice cream for me!" I laughed it off. One of my guy friends handed me $2 and said "here take my change from my funnel cake"

I said yeah! and went and got the icecream... I came back to Vh1 and asked him if he wanted some and he said "no" and fanned me off. I didn't pay him any mind because when he's tired he's grumpy.

When we got home he was still acting all whack. I tried some small talk about the roller coasters but he wouldn't talk so I said forget it and went to sleep.

Finally Last night (TWO DAYS LATER) we are watching TV and he says "you just HAD to HAVE ice cream, huh?"

I was confused.... I didn't really know what he was talking about at first.
I say "What?"
he says, "At Magic Mountain, you just had to have icecream didn't you?"
I say "Are you serious? That's what you've been pissed about? that I had an ice cream? That someone gave me $2 funky ass dollars for icecream?"
He says "It's a guy thing."
I say "seriously, over $2?"
He stays quiet.
I say "YeS! I HAD to have an ice cream! It was 80 degrees outside I wanted an ice cream so I brought and icecream!"
He says "It's a guy thing."
I say "I could have whipped out my card and paid for the ice cream but I'd already brought tickets and lunch and I didn't want to...I just wanted icecream... get over it!"

He completely stops talking to me.
Finally like two hours later. He gets up kisses me on my check and goes to sleep. Doesn't say anything.

Normally he's not in any shape of form a jealous person. But he appears to seriously upset about this.

Is it me? Am I missing something?

"it's getting getting getting kinda hectic"

The title makes no sense...just a song playing in my head.


so I have lost my voice.
I went to Six Flags this weekend with my boyfriend, NDN and her boyfriend, and like 6 other friends....it was soooooo much fun. I screamed my head off.....and now I sound like "De-bo" from Friday.....

I can not wait for my daughter to return.... I love my little monkey butt.... I think I'm going to have a little BBQ in her honor.

I am a face book junkie.

On the serious tip.... I'm being treated for PMDD... it's Pre-mentstral Dysphoric disorder.... where when the week before your period you go CRAZY! lol.... well I have completly out of control emotional out bursts and I get really depressed or really manic and crazy or super sleepy...

Here we go yo, here we go...so what's the, whats the scenario...

I miss my daughter so much! OMG….

The love I have for this little person is ridiculous.

There’s not even words to express how every thing I do reminds me of her and the love I have for her….

She’s my angel…

I was missing her so much that I called her with the intent of convincing her to come home early…. She and my parents and my stepsister’s daughter are staying on a resort in the Florida Keys…. They took an airboat down to the Everglades and saw an alligator show and she got to pet alligators and hold baby ones…Needless to say she did not want to come home early.



As for my week end:


Friday: Vh1 and I just hung out at the house…. We ordered pizza and drank wine and watched movies..


Saturday: I had my yard sale but I was only out there for an hour before the LAW came through threatening to give me a ticket…. Since I didn’t know that I was supposed to have a $5 permit in order to sale stuff on my own damn lawn!!

They can shoot folks on the other corner but I can’t sale my old crap on my lawn….I guess you don’t have to have a permit to shoot folks.


Sunday, VH1 and I went to the fair. We ended up having soooooo much fun that we are prolly going to go back.
We got on some crazy ride where the floor fell out and it swung us upside down and all around…
We saw a horse that was 3,045 pounds! It was the biggest animal I’ve ever seen…. HUGE! I tell you.
We ate chocolate covered bacon…. Oh yeah…
We got on this like ski lift type ride that only held us on with a thin padded bar…at any point we could have fallen off to our deaths living behind a 6 year old girl with no parents, well she’d have her biological father but he ain’t worth the cyberspace I’m typing on…….but we lived so all is well.
We got on some other ride where it spins around and glues you to the wall. AWESOME
We ate giant turkey legs and Dip n’ dots root beer floats….


I have some pics but... blogger has you go through too many steps to post them so...maybe another day.... or face book me.... I'm a face book addict now, by the way....I'll prolly end up in rehab or something for it...

So we had an awesome weekend.... I love my boyfriend soo much I swear I do...

QUICKIE

ok, so I have been MIA for a long ass time! My bad...

LOL



So I decided to do a Quick List to get myself back in my Blog Mode....



*I am still with VH1. 17 months and going strong....I am soooo in love with him. I swear he is my other half. I praise God for meeting a wonderful awesome man like him.



* I miss my daughter terribly. She's in Florida until August 18th visiting my mom....she's been there since June 21st.



* I just brought a 60 inch Samsung flat screen....I paid cash for it.



*I'm having a Yard Sale on Saturday, just brought new tables in the living room...and my friend just gave me a dinning room table.



*I'm going to the Fair on Sunday.



* I went to the most fun wedding I've ever been to last weeked....It was so fun....OMG.



* My friend, Sonystudios, just had another baby.... A girl named Ryan Kathleen....she looks like a big ole foot ball. She has long bangs that swoop over her eye....letting us all know she's born a diva!!



* I secretly would like to have another baby....but I know VH1 wants to wait....sigh....but I'm 28. I'm getting old....that means these eggs are getting old...he better hurry up...lol



*otherwise all is well. how are you all doing?

50 things you don't know about me.

1. Were you named after anyone?
Yes, my middle name is the same as my Aunt’s first name. She is my mother’s younger sister. She and my mother were pregnant at the same time. My Aunt’s baby died and my mother named me after my aunt (instead of the daughter) in tribute to my aunt.

2. When is the last time you cried, really cried?
On my birthday. It was the first time that VH1 and I had a real real argument and he call me a name....we're ok now.

3.Do you like your handwriting?
It depends on which personality is in charge at the time.

4.What is your favorite lunchmeat?
No, but if I had to choose… I’d pick pastrami.

5. Do you have kids?
Yes, one lovely awesome fantastic, smart funny, talented little girl.

6. If you were another person would you be friends with yourself?
Of course! I think a lot of my friends would agree that I’m a cool chic….I prolly talk a little too much though.

7. Do you use sarcasm?
Never. Yeah right!

8. Do you still have your tonsils?
YEP….never had them removed.

9. Would you bungee jump?
Never

10. What is your favorite ice cream?
Butter pecan with caramel topping…..ummmm

11. What is the first thing you notice about people?
Teeth. Hands down the most important facial feature.

12. Red or Pink?
Both

13. What is your favorite thing about your self?
My ability to recover from difficult situations.

14. What is the one thing you miss the most?
My mom….she’s in Florida.

15. What is one thing you regret?
I made a vow to live a regretless life; but if I had to choose I would say choosing DJ to be the father of my child….my daughter deserves so much more.

16. What color pants and shoes are you wearing?
I’m not wearing pants. I have on black peeptoe high heels.

17. What are you listening to right now?
The hummmm of the air conditioner

18. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Sparkling champagne pink

19.What is your favorite smell?
Light Blue by Dolce and Gabana

20. Who is the last person you spoke to?
Some customer….complaining about something trivial.

21. What is your favorite sport?
BASKETBALL!

22. Do you wear contacts?
no

23. What is your favorite food?
Anything cheesy….like Mexican food.

24. Do you prefer scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings

25. What color shirt do you have on?
I have on a black tank top under my grey dress.

26. Daytime or nighttime?
Both

27. Hugs or Kisses?
Both

28. What is your favorite dessert?
Ice cream

29. One word to describe the person who sent you this questionnaire.
Complicated

30. What book are you reading now?
Nothing at the moment….sad.

31. What type of mouse pad do you have?
True Track Blood Glucose monitoring system

32. What did you watch on TV last night?
The LAKER game…of course

33. What is your favorite sound?
My daughter saying "I love you mommy"

34. Jay Z or NAS?
Both

35. Where is the farthest you’ve traveled away from home?
The Bahamas


36. Do you have and special talents? What are they?
I can ignore you. I don’t know?

37. What did you want to be when you grew up as a child?
A fashion designer/ own my own magazine.

38. Who is the one person that knows you best?
My daughter.

39. What is your hobby?
I’m looking for one…..any suggestions…. Writing I guess.

40. Dominoes or spades?
Dominoes

41. Kool Aid or Red juice drink?
Red juice drink

42. Light or Dark liquor?
Both but not at the same time

43. Is the cup half empty or half full?
Half full.

44. What do you wear when you sleep?
Night gowns….lol

45. What is the weirdest thing you do?
All of the labels in all my cabinets have to be facing forward.

46. What would your ex boyfriend/girlfriend have to say about you?
He’d say that I’m a beautiful person and he should’ve never screwed up

47. What is your greatest fear?
Being alone. It’s human nature to want to be in contact with others.

48. What is your greatest success (so far)?
My daughter. Being pretty close to debit free before 30.

49. What is your best childhood memory?
Playing freeze-tag in my aunt’s front yard with my Easter dress and white, baby doll shoes with all 10 thousand of my cousins.

50. What's your favorite cereal?
Cinamon Toast Crunch

eyyy yo aight!

1. my kid is officially a girl scout. her investiture service was yesterday.

2. i am so in love with this vh1 character.... can you believe it's been a year?

3. i went pass my uncles place this weekend. he was outside working on his truck. he was sooo happy to see me when i pulled up to say "hi" it really made me feel good. a warm feeling that I'd forgotten about.

4. my birthday's coming up...the big 2-8! i wanted to spend the night at Disneyland to celebrate but it doesn't look like that's going to work. i can't decide what else i want to do.... hmmmmm

5. my boyfriend made cornish hens, spicy rice and greens for dinner last night...then after dinner he pulled the meat off the bones and put each item in neat plastic containers so that I could have lunch today.

6. why are folks loosing their minds about this swine flu? its complete mass hysteria here at the drug wholesale! lol every single one of the calls i've answered today are requesting tamiflu ( a drug for the flu) or face masks....lol it's stupid crazy

7. I slept good last night!

8. I plan on going to visit my homegirls out in Texas in June! it's gonna be fun-tastic!

9. i love my boyfriend but I hate that i can't talk about him with my friend stace. she has the worst man in the world and it's like she gets depressed when i tell her how great my man is.

10. my sister and her family are so cute! i love them.

****Haters****
I am not a hater ...so I don’t even understand hater culture. I guess cause I'm not a hater ,I can’t really get into the mindset of hater…! I can't even get into hater mode and think like a hater!!!

It's only four black folk’ work here altogether! Me, a chic in IT, another old chic in accounting and an old man in HR .....
Now why chic in IT been hating on me since I first started working here two years ago…could be cause I’m younger, and more fly and I don’t really talk much…I keep to myself and do my own thang…but what ever the reason I’ve done nothing directly or indirectly to her….but she always find a way to say something shady or do something haterific to me. I can't stand it!

Last night we walking out to the parking lot and she like...
"why you here so late?" Like with a mad attitude….
I say What?" Cause she and I ain’t friends….we usually say hi and bye but that’s it plus I was on the phone with my man trying to decide what we were going to cook for dinner not even the least bit concerned with her presence other that they half smile I gave her cause I know she’s a hater.
She says to me, "I thought you got off at 5:30.? (How she know what time I get off?)...Why you here so late with the rest of us worker bees?"
I say " I leave at 5:30 to pick up my daughter, she’s on spring break this week…"
She say "Oh, I thought you got to leave because you’re special…"
No I didn’t knock her two front teeth out like I wanted to….instead I act like I didn’t hear her just kept right on talking to Vh1 on the cell...
WHY! WHY! WHY are you’re so concerned with what I'm doing?! I don't even understand it? You ain't even on the same floor as me or same department as me...I could go months with out seeing or speaking to you.... Yet you so concerned with what I do.... You couldn't wait to step to me and say something!
Hi Hater!
UGGGGHHHHH!!!!



** friendneimies***
Now honestly I love my friends. I belong to a ring of friends that all of us email each other daily. There’s 4 of us that spend our free time emailing back and forth…Whether it’s the odd news of the day, events going on in the office that we can’t say out loud or if it’s asking each other for advice. Of the four of us, I am the only one with a steady boyfriend…Another girl had a fiancée but she caught him in her house that she shared with him with another girl.
Now today she asks for advice about whether or not she should go to dinner with this guy…
You know what….mid post I got tired of what I was writing about…completely lost interest in it…oh well!

**** Funny story***
This morning me, Vh1 and MY were about to walk out the door....and
MY says "Vh1, I have something to tell you."
He says "What is it MY?"
She says "Please don't be mad"
He says "I won't be mad what is it?"
She says" I used your toothbrush"
I fell out laughing that is so nasty....
Vh1 was like "WHY!!! WHY!!! "
She was like "I don't know... I washed it off though.... "

Needless to say I brought new toothbrushes today....

***Blog Family!****

Don’t hate me because I haven’t been able to read and comment lately….my home computer is on the fritzes has been for like a year…and I can’t get my surf on at the workplace like I used to. But just in case you forgot….I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!

picture post

This is my daughter strutting in her beach cover up:

This is me, posing....check the bronze streaks in the hair.

The kids at the beach:

My niece Savanah Joy...Look at those Cheeks!!!
That's my bigsis in the background...

My daughter:

ME at the club..... that night I couldn't decide what to wear.

My daughter at the Park....throwing sticks at the ducks.

Shhhhhhh don't tell him....but this is VH1... he'd stab me if he knew....LOL! but you can barely see him SO WALA! Mystery revealed....sorta.....

Correspondence Between Friends...

It all started with an email to my friend describing what I did for the evening. The description included the fact that once the evening was over, I went to pick my daughter up from her fathers house at 11pm and the poor kid was starving…she’d been there since 7 and all she’d ate was one boiled hot dog…with no bread…in four hours. I also told her how VH1 was really pissed about it.

This is what my “friend” responded to me:

“He was wrong for not feeding that baby ...but girl you know how these daddies be you should have feed her and packed her a snack.... He may not have had more them one weenie LOL.. You know bd's are sorry for the most part....
But what VH1 talking about. He is your man not saying it is his responsibility but you know comes with the package he suppose to spend time with her too and he with you so of course he spends more time with her cause he there. Sad and should not be but it is reality ......"

I then respond to her:

“ But really girl. He lives with his momma.... What the two of them eat for dinner? She get a check because she drank so much she in heart and liver failure. I know for a fact that she gets a check and food stamps because she told me. His son there and he wasn't hungry. So why is MY? he fed all them but he can't fee his daughter? He could've made her a 0.13Cent bag of Top Ramen and my baby would've been fine. It’s the 7th and they ain't got money from they check on the 1st.

I wasn't mad a VH1 for what he said. The way DJ is with MY is awful. He treats her like a stepchild or a burden. So I feel where vVH1 is coming from.
It wouldn't be a problem if DJ did something. He look at her little face and still treat her half a$$ed?!l HE don't do NOTHING!
For his son he take him to basketball games buy him shoes, buy him game boys and games and $hit and nothing for MY! And he ain't even sure that his son is his! Ra (the mother of his son told him that his son ain’t his) but he treat MY like nothing and he know for an absolute definite fact that My is his child.

I can't be mad at Vh1 for being pissed off that DJ aint being a man. Yeah it's VH1s job to do that because he with me but What's DJ's job? to be nothingness?
I don't feel sorry for DJ either. He is 30 years old with no job? No hustle? No car? No nothing? Vh1 don’t’ respect that because he do what he got to to make it happen…even if its for somebody else’s kid.”

To add to your disheartened feeling here’s a picture of MY:

Friday was so much fun.

I ended up wearing this bohemian inspired, blue, purple, white, black, gold printed, off the shoulder mini dress with a black wide band belt that fit just under the breast, and my knee black high boots. I’m wearing my hair with swooped to the side bangs and big curls all over…so the out fit all sort of "fit" together.

*****

Vh1 was supposed to go with me…but in his true Libra-esque anti-social style he flipped the script on me and didn’t go. He went on a run with his uncle instead….so I went to another social event ALONE. Sigh. Well at least I was cute.
I told him through drunken sobbing tears Saturday morning that it hurt my feelings that he didn’t want to go with me. I told him I love him so much that I want to share him with other people…he said that he never looked at it that way and he’d work on it. I believe him.


******

At the party, I found three of my friends who came to the event coupled up but through liquor induced bad girl-ness decided we head out girls only" to hit up the after hours, just us four girls.
I’ll tell you something about Belizean folks…Those heffas can party! It was 5 a.m. when I left because my feet hurt and I could barely hold my eyes open and I was already beginning to have a hangover, so who knows what time the other three left.

I got home safe, passed out across my unmade bed and slept for a few hours, threw up, and all was well.

You know those jokes folks send through email…. "You know how you know you’re old" well I know I’m old because my bank put a hold on my Debit card because they thought the late night bar charges were out of character and thought someone had stole my card!!!
LOL so sad.

*****

I took my daughter and my little cousin to see Coraline on Saturday…its scary. Like not just for the kids…for me too.

******

Then I took the girlies to Hometown Buffet…..(my cousins Bri’s girlfriend had given me some "kids eat free" coupons …) and Let me tell you….their barbeque is the bizness!!!! Me and the girls sat there for almost 45 minutes stuffing our faces….LOL. No wonder I need to loose this extra 20 pounds!!! Damn barbeque.

******

Why is it so windy here in Cali today? The wind is blowing like crazy…good thing I got the messy big curls hair today.

******

I had a pretty tough morning this morning…. I left my cell phone at home…I broke two fingernails!!!…My skin is super dry…. This stupid V05 hair spray is making me flaky! And I have on a black shirt…I burned the top of my mouth with my coffee and something’s wrong with one of my rims so it keeps making my tire pressure low.

*****

I still haven’t found anyone to pick up MY and keep her for less than 30 minutes a day…not since my father bitched out on me…pulled his same life tricks … sigh….life is so difficult when you’re having fun.

** ****

I will be eating Pho today for lunch….if you don’t know about Vietnamese noodles you better get in the game!

** ****

Please somebody tell CrazyC to stop calling me asking me when are he and I going to have a baby.....lol the boy is a mess...

******

Funny story about my daughter: last night vh1, MY and I went to CVS. While I paid for the goods, MY and Vh1 pretended to do the tango… they danced all around him twirling and spinning her like she was a little princess. I loved it. The two people I love loving each other….I wish I had a camera with me. I love the fact he could careless how silly he looked he just wanted her to smile.

Once we got into the car, MY kept asking me if I was ok. She asked me three times before I really realized she was asking me the same question over and over. Finally I ask her "Why are you asking me am I ok?" She says "I just wanted to know if you were jealous over how me and Vh1 were dancing…" Vh1 and I laughed with surprise. She says "Yeah maybe next time you should dance with him like me."

My kid is crazy.

I'm a face book junkie now.

I know I’ve asked this question before; but really, why are haters everywhere?
They feed on the scent of folks minding their own business, don’t they? They just can’t leave me alone. I’m in my cubicle I’m doing my business.

Sigh….

***

So my weekend turned out pretty good up there in Northern Cali.

Saturday morning Vh1 called me at 4 am to make sure I got up for my flight at 7.

I arrived in Oakland at 8.

I rented a convertible white mustang….yea! So you know I was looking super fine valentine.

It was foggy and I was a little irritated that I couldn’t put the top down

I decided to have breakfast Denny's and then go over to the mall (which I found with the GPS system in my rental car)..

And who should I run into at the Denny’s? The maid of honor! She was there with her mom.

They invited me to breakfast. Since I hadn’t checked into my room, they invited me to stay at their hotel room with them (the room was free because the bride and groom paid for it) so I canceled my reservation at my hotel (extended Stay Deluxe) and stayed with them at the Sheridan.

After breakfast we went back to their room.

Their room was where the bride got dressed, so I got to see her getting her make up on and everything. It was very nice.

I got dressed after the bridal party went down stairs.

And when I went down stairs to get in my car and WHY did it have a flat tire! I was so irritated.

When I called the rental service the man told me that he couldn't get there in enough time to change the tire and for me to get to the wedding in enough time, so to "just get a ride" YES that is his exact words….I was heated.

So I got a ride with the Maid of honor’s mom.

The wedding was BEAUTIFUL. When I say beautiful, I mean simply beautiful. It was at a golf course south of Oakland in San Ramon. .

The ceremony was out side next to this lake. It was cold but It was worth it.

The two bridesmaids had strapless dresses that gathered on the side and had a diamond pendant on the side.

The maid of honor wore a chocolate dress that was almost just like Michelle Obama's inauguration dress and it had a diamond o the shoulder. They all carried orange sunflowers in their hands.

The bride’s dress was strapless and gathered at the breast and had a diamond pendant in the center. It was like sheer flowy material to the ground. She wore her hair in straw curls and had a flower in her hair.

The guys walked in to the instrumental to "The Light" by Common. The girls walked in to this song by Musiq and she walked down the isle to this song by India Aire. Her mom gave her away.

The pastor was funny and sweet.

They jumped the broom.

After the ceremony there was a cocktail hour in the bar area of the golf course. The groom’s parents brought paid for all drinks.... and there was a slide show full of pictures chronicling their 7 year relationship….yes she waited 7 years..

Then we went inside for the reception.
They danced to "If your love was all I had" by Justin Timberlake.
The cake was white with chocolate brown designs on it.
The party favors were a burlap sack with a glass of brown sugar and their names on it...and these heart shaped measuring spoons and each spoon said stuff like "a pinch of love" a spoon of caring...so on and so on.

****

After the wedding I got back to the hotel called the rental car service and cussed them out. They came and fixed the tire at like 12 in the morning.

Then I had to return the car at 9. So, I didn't get to really drive it at all. I complained about the road side assistance and at first the manager said to me "what would you do if it was your own car..." that pissed me off so I went off...... So, they gave me the car for half off.

I was tired and ready to go home so I didn't extend my rental and stay the rest of the day until my flight home at 8pm so I went to the airport and had Southwest change my flight to 10am.
I got back here in the Southland at 11am

****

There is still the issue VH1’s behavior…. Which I know y’all told me to stop tripping on…

Well Sunday night he came over …after my nap and we spent all day Monday together.
There was some issues going on with him… See, I know my man BLOG FAMILY!!
He confessed said issues…. No cheating…it was some legal stuff that I knew about…but didn’t really know about.

We’re back in the gang now…. All happy and fuzzy and in love.

***

My friend’s little sister is turning 24…. Gees, I’m old. And Vh1 and I are going to her birthday. I need help building an outfit… Any suggestions? At 27 I feel uber old. I want to be HOT but not old lady Hot…. New hip hottie Hot…. You know?
I love these black shinny leggings that are the rave now…. And I like mini dresses…so I’m thinking of going in either of those two directions…. But I got fat knees lol and a big butt and a chunky middle LOL!!!!!! So I don’t know if my body wants to go in either of those directions…

For the random of the moment here’s a picture of my niece.

Saturday is the day of my friends wedding so I'm going to be Flying up to San Fran to celebrate her big day with her.

Vh1 is going to Arizona tonight. he couldn't go with to be my date.

so I 'm going alone... I have mixed feelings about it. I'm scared and happy and worried I'll feel weird all at the same time. I should not have read that article in Cosmo this month about the chics who checked into hotels alone and folks killed them.

I actually been feeling wierd with Vh1 lately. I hate when people over explain things and that's what he's been doing a lot of. not that i think he's a cheater but he's hiding something and that pisses me off.

oK enough venting....

Can I block certain people from commenting?

Yeah, I know the answer to my question nevertheless...as a matter of fact this whole post will be a post of questions.

* how can someone one mess up: rinse pot, fill pot with 8 cups of water, change filter, pour in coffee?

* when will they make a car that drives itself so that i can perfect my eye make up?

* why is g's to gents my new guilty pleasure? (oh I have many other guilty pleasures this is just my newest one) why do i love fahim from the reality show g's to gents? he's such an ass and yet i love him! why did he tell that girl last night that she smelled like fish? oh! the comedy.

* why are hater's everywhere?

* why is my outfit so cute today? (purple, grey, brown paisly skirt, grey shirt brown cordaroy jacket and brown loafers....)

* why am i addicted to mini steak tacos?

*why do i begin to hate my nail polish after a week?

* why did we have a receptionist anyway?

* Why would this boy not admit that he's gay when i can see it in his walk?

*How come the homeless people in my neighborhood congregate in the alley next to my house having festivals at 5 in the morning?

*why do i feel like vh1 and i will be one of those couples that are togehter for 50 years before they get married...even though vh1 is ALLLLLLL about being married?

* will i ever have another baby?

* Why is my daughter so emotional? never mind i know the answer to that.

*what is the point of having a brand new car and living check to check?

*when is friday going to get here?

*Who wants to go out to dinner when I get this bonus check for the promotion for the month of march?

*why do i know my boss is going to give me a hard time on my review next week?

*Why are these customers that i have so dumb and in charge of your medications at the same time?

* why do i have a sick crush on nick of the jonas brothers?

*why are all my questions "why" questions?

* why is my daughter having a field trip to the dentist? that does not sound fun at all!

* why did i just buy a gucci luggage bag for my trip to San Ramon?

ok....i'm done with this.... hope you have a gorgeous day!!!!