Monday, March 19, 2012

lost.

So I am contemplating leaving my relationship.

I do this almost every month were I weigh back and forth with myself whether I should stay or go or what. And today…well this weekend, I once again come to the conclusion that this man is crazy…. And he’s driving me crazy.

Over the years we’ve been together he has said some really fucked up things to me. He just says whatever the hell he feels and thinks there is no repercussion for it. He has done some things that are seriously fucked up and thinks there is no repercussion for it.

I’ve done some things and said some things to him as well.

I think we are really beginning to resent each other.


This weekend he didn’t talk to me for three days…. Because I was taking a shower and he barged into the bathroom… and I got an attitude… so of course I become the bitch.

The real deal is I think he wanted to go with his friends on Saturday so he chose to pick a fight with me so that he didn’t have to follow through with our plans of a “date night”.

Sunday night it all came to a head….of course I had to be the one to confront him on his behavior. We get into it… not arguing but the back and forth as usual and then he says…. And I am very serious.

That I have been recording him in the house while I go to work.

No lie.

Now here’s the truth.

I DO in fact own a recording device. I purchased it May of 2011. My boss had become extremely verbally abusive to the employees…so my mother advised that I buy a recorder, to record her assaults; I ordered it online through Amazon.com, it’s this then remote control looking thing that has a big button to record/stop, a play button and a two buttons…. I never actually had to record anything …since the boss and I had a big heart to heart (read: a BIG argument) and since then things have been much better. The recording device is in my bedside dresser.

#1. I have not recorded him during the day. Why? What would be my reason? What would I benefit? When would I have the time to listen to his day long activities? Why would I keep the recording? (well according to him “recordings”)….also it is possible to quite easily hit record …being that it is in my drawer….but I didn’t even know there were recordings on it.

#2. What the hell is he doing in my bedside dresser? Why is he snooping through my shit?

#3. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t even have batteries in it… and if it does… how could they be working?




This is not the first time that I have caught him going through my things…. It really irritates me, mainly because I don’t go through his shit! EVER! And I’m mean like ever!

I need to run far far away from this.

3 comments:

Belle said...

I'm so glad you're posting consistently. I might not comment often, but I read you in my google feed.
Sounds like you've been having second thoughts for years... if that's the case, why not leave? Its not like you have children keeping you together.

K♥E♥N♥Y♥A said...

I agree with Belle - hate to say it but relationships are tough! some times you just have to let go especially if- like you said- he's making you crazy-

K♥E♥N♥Y♥A said...

and I also want to say- I might not comment but glad to see ya back!