Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Friends or Friendemies

On a rule, I try to be extremely selective on who I allow to be my friend. I am a believer that the people you sorround yourself with are direct reflections of who you are. If you sorround your self with gangstas and killas, most likely you're a gangsta or a killa. Sorround your self with well rounded, healthy, spiritually concious (spelling?) people, mostly like you're at least on the path to be coming that type of person as well.

The young women that I consider to be my friends, have been my friends for the last 15 years. More recently, I became friends with Stace. She and I have been friends for almost 2 and a half years now. I value our friendship. Our relationship as friends, is important to me; However there are times when our friendship feels like I'm pulling an extremely heavy bag across the dessert.

She has so much drama in her life. Everyday, every freeking day there are issues and bad luck and horrible terrible things happening to her. ALL the time.

How do you have such negative things happen to yourself all the time? You know how? You attract them to yourself! You consistenly focus on the negative all the energy and vibes you put out are negative. She never calls me with positive energy!

Before I started dating Vh1, she'd pour out her negative energy on all relationships I had. Barbershop was too thug, E was too emotional, Mrniceynice was too chunky, MrWonderful couldn't be real. etc etc. All the while she's dating this worthless piece of shit for a man. A man that is 35 and lives with his mother. A man that does not work for a living. A man that won't pick his girlfriend up from the bus stop. A man that plays dungeons and dragons. A man that goes to "comic book conventions" for weeks at a time. A man that falls asleep before she gets back from the restroom. A man that is not a man at all. He is a waste of space.

When I tell Stace about Vh1, you'd think she'd wish me well? Well I knew she wouldn't but I hoped she would. In her true fashion she sprinkled hate on me. But the worst type of hate sprinkes, jealous hate. These dust particles are different than the ones shes sprinkled on me before. This particles are sticky and cant's just be brushed aside.

I mean I know she's going through it with her dude. He's worthless. She stays with his worthless ass, for what reason? your guess is as good as mine.....but I deserve for folks to at least be happy for me.

To be continued...

8 comments:

Young woman on a journey said...

i guess misery loves company. But damn, there can't be that much wrong with EVERY man you've dated!

I have a friend too who has something negative to say about every man i talk to and or what i put up with though i would say she's put up with a lot from the man i opt not to criticize. And if you talk, you'll be hating right.

That's why i'm trying the hand at saying nothing, not about myself, and not about them. its tough but eventually i'll get used to it right?

Jane said...

What's a trip Journey is she doesn't just hate on the guys I date!!! She sprinkles hate on all sortas of things!
*My friendly relationship with my mom.
*My hair
*My outfits

I could go on!
Now, I will say there are things that I love about her....but it's those like snide remarks she slides in that pisses me off those like smudges are starting to wear me down!

Young woman on a journey said...

oh hell naw. that's just too much! Even when you love someone, constant negativity can be overwhelming. particularly if it is directed towards you. Even if she is jealous, she shouldn't be trying to bring you down with her criticisms. I guess people deal with these things differently, but it just seems she doesn't love you as much as you do her if she is willing to cause you unhappiness despite you putting up with hers.

Liz said...

cut her off.
wellnot necessarily but make a list of what you are gaining versus giving in the relationship. or better yet what you value versus what you don't like about your friendship with her... if one out-weighs the other then you got some serious thinking to do...

i mean it really sounds like her issues have more to do with how she sees herself then anything having to do with you. sprinkling hate on you is just a way to make her feel not as bad about herself...

but your blog friends are HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY for you and VH1!!

Monie said...

Can I kick this broad in the kneecap?

Seriously...she doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. I understand she has her own issues that she's working through but you don't just take, take, take and hate, hate, hate. That's wack.

I think the fact that you even blogged about this says a lot, J...

Khoney330 said...

Why you keeping that negativity in your life? She would be so cut back. The only time she would hear from me is when she called.

K

Nina said...

With the peanut gallery....she needs to go. Because...after a while - you tend to become bitter like other people. The little bits of hate seep into your pores and attaches itself to you...

and yes...happy happy happy for you and vh1. someone besides liz and monie need functioning relationships (hehe)

Chris said...

Dude...that is a wack ass broad...and a lonely one at that...and the reason why she is with a loser is because....



SURPRISE! She's a loser herself! Ughhh...you never want to be friends with a chick that never has anything good to say...and honestly, the stuff she attacks you for are probably the things that she can't seem to get...