Sigh... So Mr. Wonderful emailed me today. I didn't respond. I refuse to let myself get angry and irratated about this.
In order for me to forget about Mr. Wonderful I've dedicated this post to other things I need to worry about; Like:
1. The fact that all of Southern California is burning down all around me. Every day my car is covered in ashes. The ashes of the belongings of people who now have nothing. Everything is gone. Thier computers- gone. Their beds gone. Their socks- gone. Everything they own burned. I'm a horrible person because this morning all I could think was, "the ashes are ruining my $17 car wash"... major reality check. I had to sit down and really focus. So My and I took our cans to the recycling place and donated the $ to the Red Cross. Vain redemption? Life is such an oxymoron.
2. My daughter is turning 5; which makes me the mother of a 5 year old. I'm getting old.
3. My shoulder creeks when I move it...That's a sense of how old I've gotten.
4. I have to decide if I want to continue on this road I'm going down with Crazyc. He helped me out of my first crisis with Mr. Wonderful. And he is unknowingly helping me out of this one. I love him. There's soooo much history behind our relationship, I'm writing a book on it. Yet, I know that the words that spill out this mouth could drive me to murder. I don't think his larynx is connected to his brain because there's no way that the brain knows what his voice box is saying. He does a body good; just like milk. But should I stay knowing I'll never truely be happy? Or will I? There has to be something that makes me stay with him right? It couldn't just be familiarity, right? That can't be the only reason, I'm with him, right? Just because it's what I'm used to.....
5. My house is a damn mess. The dishes, the rooms, the bathroom. sigh... it's over whelming. I'll start with the living room and bathroom tonight.
6. I still ain't got no driver's license. $5000 to go.
7. I'm still trying to get this business started. I'm barely in the scratch paper stages and I got people trying to book dates.... that excites me and scares me at the same time.
8. What am I going to be for Halloween? I got to win the $100 prize my job is giving away. SO I can put towards the $5000.
9. I have to work on my customer service skills. Some days I really am the angryblacklady over the phone.
10. I got an extra $20 bucks on the phone bill because of this internet connection.
11. I'm giving My a slumber party, so I'm going to have 12 little girls at my house for over 12 hours... terrified!
12. Flores. Nuff said. I've been avoiding him...but if he doesn't stop sending me those text messages with those sweet little inticements; I'm going to be right back there with him, naked, in his bed, watching his flat screen, eating pizza he ordered, while he stands on the bed singing me Prince songs....No, No, No, I won't let myself do it.
13. Why is there still hardly any Black people on television? It's like we don't really exist, in their worlds. Not even enough to hire us as extras...WOW.
14. I need the thingy that connects the tire to the axle to be replaced on my car.
15. I need a good gospel song to perform to for my audition next month and I only have two weeks, to choreograph something. Any suggestions?
ok, that makes me feel better..... exhale.