Monday, September 20, 2004

"love, so many people use your name in vain..."

after my episode with CRAZYCHRIS on friday I was feeling kind of sad. Kind of agitated with myself about the whole situation. I was feeling the opposing effect of this self diagnosed bi-polar mania...depression.

I was very meloncholy all day Saturday. Even though I had my babies with me. My little nephew Jay and My and I spent the day together all day and yet I still felt the urge to be saddened by Friday's activities...well that and the fact i had a quasi-hangover... I've learned the tricks of the trade for hangover removal: WATER WATER WATER!!!!! Hydration Hydration Hydration!

Anyways the kids and I went to the park and they rode bikes on my balcony and we watched SpyKids. then they feel alseep on me. I was sad again.

Muq called me reading me the drama of her half ass boyfriend/guy friend/business associate. And I felt comforted in her voice. It's always good to have a friend that understands your bi-polar mania.

Bigsis picked up her son around 7 and My and I cleaned up. I was watching the third movie I'd borrowed from Bigsis when MC called me.

Ok back story...He and I met, way back in January. We went on dates and I fell hard for him!!!! Real hard. A sista was all extra dreamy eyed. All calling his ass back when he asked me to. changing plans with the girls. Let him meet my daughter . I mean I was getting very comfortable even though I hadn't planned on it. (imagine Deborah Cox's "How did you get here")Anyways right at the peak of our relationship, his job asked him to move to Hayward in Northern California, which is like oakland. Which is way far from were I live. I mean like a whole days drive. I was hurt. He and I talked a lot when he first moved but then the phone calls got less and less and eventually we hardly ever spoke. (over a three month period) Finally it was like we were just seeing each other for sex. he'd come down here spend the day with his son and then hump me. It was not cool. SO I took it upon myself to bring this issue to light. I never cussed or anything but I did let him know that I wasn't rollin with it. We really haven't been speaking much since. His grandfather died and he was going through stuff and so was I. So our stuff was kind of on hold.

Anyways he called me Saturday in the mid of my depressed state and told me that he wanted to come by and talk. He had called me earlier this week and said he'd like to see me but we didn't get to talk. So I tell him I'd love to see him and he comes over.

OUR CONVERSATION!! It reminded me totally of why I was falling so hard for him. There's somehting to be said if someone's conversation turns you on. His words stimulate's deep.

We talked about everything. About his screenplay and his job and not talking in this long amount of time and about missing each other and about my fcuked job and about being together and about everything.

We talked and talked and talked the next thing we knew it was 2am. He stands up to leave and I really didn't want him to. reading this I feel like such a schoochie, one night CRAZYCHRIS the next night MC. But on the real I don't know none of yall reading this, IF there's anyone reading this, so I might as well tell the damn truth...what's the point of having a diary that you lie in.... So he tells me that he needs to be a good guy because of all the fussing I did with him about only calling me about sex. So he says as much as he would love to stay he has to leave. I tell him I don't want him to leave. And so... HE DOESN'T LEAVE!!!

We kissed. We sat on the couch and kissing...enjoying each others tongues...that line sounds so sleazy Then he tells me "Don't ever call me going off on me like that... don't you know how much I missed you. I felt like I couldn't see you or nothing after that shit. That was way too long not to see each other." the next thing I know one thing lead to another thing, that lead to another thing, that lead to another. The experience had me smiling all day Sunday.

Matter of fact, I'm smiling right now.

Whether the experience was something that's not going to continue to happen frequently or not. I enjoyed it and I was happy for it.

I didn't talk to Hernandez all weekend.


Anonymous said...

Bloggers annoying to post on. Just wanted to let you know that I actually read the drama and was interested. You should turn it into a soap opera lol


Jenny said...

glad you read through the drama...