It's been a rough few weeks. The cancer not as simple a state as it was thought to be. It's much more difficult. She had a full scale breakdown on me. Accused me of being annoyed with her overher illness. Yelled screamed cried at me... But it at her disease. She's been off her meds a few weeks. So I know it's not her. And yet it is her.
But these last few days she's been better. She's stable, but I know instability is just around the corner.
She created a website log her experience. I refrain from posting it. But it's out there.
Today, i am feeling a bit low. I'm feeling like there will never be anyone to take care of me. Ever. I'm facing it. I know I know there's love out there. But I don't think there's reciprocal love for me out there at all. Really. It's not. I'm just not a couple type girl.
I've got a sick mom. A job I hate. A preteen child. Two undeserving exS that won't leave me alone.... Both are in relationships. A guy I met as a rebound that I actually am starting to like/love but But it's possible I've waited too long. A fat belly and a bad attitude.
I've got bigger concerns.
Everything is going to be ok.