Wednesday, September 10, 2008

what's the matter with a little no sometime?

and just cause i can i'm posting again....

yesterday afternoon vh1 texted me.
vh1: I hope you're having a great day.
Jane: I am, now. thank you very much I needed that.
vh1: I'm glad I could help
Jane: you always make me smile
vh1: that's part of Man's work (an on going joke we have about woman's work and man's work)..

later he called me and asked if I wanted to make his day better. I said of course, he asked if I'd stop by after work to visit. Instead he came by once I got home...
We were laying on the couch and I said "I wanted to see you today too.."
He says "well, how come you didn't ask?"
I said joking "I didn't want you to think i was on your jock..."
He laughs "what's the real reason?"
I laugh..."seriously that's why! I just saw you this weekend, didn't want you to get sick of me."
He says "So if I didn't ask you, you wouldn't have asked?"
I say "no. prolly not."
Silence. Blinking.
He says. "SO the real reason you didn't ask is because you were afraid I'd say no"
I say "yes."
he says "so what...what's wrong with no."
Me..."I guess nothing."
He says "you tell me no all the time."
I say "...yeah I guess..."
He says "I can tell you no and still care about you Sheep." (Sheep is a TOD that he uses for me when I'm sleepy...)
I say "I know."
He says "But do you really?"

It kinda hit a nerve because I think I really hate hearing no. I avoid it at all costs. I think it's the major reason I am such a procrastinator... I don't want to hear folks say it... What's up wit that?
A Psychiatrist could spend a thousand hours trying to understand it and couldn't.

2 comments:

Moody Gemini said...

No is a hard word for me too. If I know I am going to get NO...I often don't ask and just do my own thing. Like you a Dr. could have a field day trying to uncover my reasons. But I have a good clue.
Hang in there. I call it taking your big girl pill!

Jane said...

I hate hearing NO!