Monday, April 14, 2008

jane being jane.

So I'm still hanging out with mr nicey-nice...
i like him. he's nice.
the more time i spend with him the more i like him. he;s funny and attentive.
i kissed him.
ilike him im just not all the way there yet.

ok ok ok
i hate to admit it but i think my real issue with him is that he;s thick in the middle...

last night, he came by and brought me some tacos, he wore these red sweats that emphasized his butt. it reminded me of that girlfriends episode where joan was dating that guy with "woman hips"...

it was a total turn off and i start to feel so guilty and ugly inside. am i that vain? i can't see past the man's big butt? and belly? sigh.

am i this awful of a person?

i already felt horrible because i keep thinking "the guy i want to be with will be just like mrniceynice." instead of "this is the guy i want to be with"

now i realize there's this awful vanity within the situation as well... (you guys ever realized how much i like elipses? "..." when did I fall for those things? sigh... who knows?)

the thing is i don't know how far i can press aside the issue (those hips).

i'mabadpersonaveryverybadperson.
go ahead guys, stab me with spoons....

5 comments:

Nina said...

No one's gonna stab you with anything. At least you're honest. But, you should really think about whether or not you will see past it and potentially be happy or let that hinder something great.

Perhaps, it's not the woman-hips. Maybe, it's something else you're feeling iffy about. Are you sure you're ready for this? Is it something else (chemistry-wise) that's not clicking with you?

Sometimes we can blame not-so-great attraction on one thing when it could be a mixture of things we can't put our finger on.

Khoney330 said...

I totally get it. Mine is teeth. If yo' grill is jacked, please keep it stepping. I'm sure I have others, that one just sticks out most in my mind right now.

K

thee modern isis said...

I have similar issues, moreso with mannerisms then outward appearance.

However, I think that the fact that you are still giving it a try and you do acknowledge that you like him and how he treats you says volumes. I mean .. what made you talk to him? Obviously his hips were going to be noticed before his kind heart so what was it that made you continue to pursue the "what if"?

I say ride it out. He treats you the way you should be treated, you like him and he in turn likes you. Maybe slowly your heart will start to open a little more and you'll see past the things that unfortunately he can't change just like he's seeing past the things that you can't change.

Good luck chica

jirzygurl said...

lol @ stab you with spoons!
i don't think you are a bad person. i wouldn't talk to someone with a busted yuck mouth... or a third eye. i do think you may be subconciously looking for a reason to "sabotage" this relationship... hmmm... perhaps finding something wrong with someone who seems so perfect as a defense?? or maybe i am just being too deep... lol

Monie said...

I completely agree with Isis. And I won't stab you with a spoon. LOL!