Tuesday, April 08, 2008

he loves me. he loves me not. he loves me...but do I love him?

I met this guy. Extremely nice. Excellent full-time job. Legal side hustle (part-time business owner)Well keep apartment. Nice car. Good conversation. Complimentary. Funny (most times). Has one daughter (the same age as mine- that actually looks QUITE a lot like mine). Family orientated. Responsible. Doesn't mind spending his $...

Great! Except, I just feel...um ok about him. Not a feeling that anything's wrong. It's just nothings wrong. He's a regular guy. Which I like, I guess.

I mean he's handsome. In a handsome sorta way. He's not FIZINE, ya know. He's handsome in a "Im a man who's handsome"...I guess that doesn't work if you don't hear me use my "man" voice. He's dark skin (yumsa!), has , now that I think of it no real disguishable characteristics about him.

I don't have an immediate urge to kiss him. Honestly, I don't even really don't think about kissing him when I'm around him. But he is FaLlInG for the J-ster. I mean calling me (not in a boogaboo sorta way) making dinner plans and play dates and trying discuss summertime events...shit we ain't made it through spring yet!LOL.. I Kid! I Kid!

I shared my feelings of "he's ok" with my grandmother, hoping this 61 year old woman could shed some light on life and love for me; and my grandmother says to me "you should always marry a man that loves you more than you love him."

I realize that a lot of older Black women are taught this. I don't get it.

I wanna feel head over heels and swept up in it all. Instead I feel safe. Like, humph... this works.

oh...yeah this is a completely different guy than my "newlovepoem" guy. He;s great too Except I feel the "spark-a-los" (as my daughter says) with him...now if I could just combine the two...hmmmmm.... polygomy?

9 comments:

E said...

lol @ polygamy and ur "man voice". maybe if u give it a little time ur feelings for him will grow? *shrugs* or u can stick with ur newlovepoem guy. decisions, decisions..

Young woman on a journey said...

Hey, great blog! I think they say marry a man who loves you more so you aren't so vulnerable. When you are head over heels, you don't see the bad stuff, don't make rational decisions, and are willing to put up with more. Which also means they'll dish out more cause they know they got you! its just a way to avoid emotional vulnerability as much as possible.

Jane said...

wouldn't it be great if I could have them both, e?

I think you're absolutely right, ywj....It's so hard to be vulnerable.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

Wouldnt that just be fantastic if you could do that... lol... i completely understand this feeling.. just went through somethin like this VERY recently... the old comfortable guy vs the new and exciting... the new won out... goodluck with this... love the blog by the way.. i'll bookmark u... be back here.. certainly

Monie said...

Hmmm...that's a tough sitch, J.

Sha Boogie said...

Your granny spoke the truth on that one. I dated someone that I loved more than he loved me - big mistake! and never more..lol.

I'm cool with a guy just like you described, he was 'perfect' but I felt nothing. No butterflies when he called, no urge to passionately kiss him good night, nada.

Jon Content said...

...a womens thoughts are always good to hear. Is this giving to much??

NigerianDramaQueen said...

My friend was in the exact predicament once. Dude was good looking, had a job and was generally without drama. She said there was just "something" missing. Lol@ FIZINE..never heard that one b4. Your grandmum spoke the truth though. 1st time on your blog. I like. I'll be back

jirzygurl said...

don't settle for someone that you don't have a passion for! but give dude a chance... passion may just bloom along with the spring flowers!