Monday, January 21, 2008

just getting shit off my chest...

Dear April 14, 2000,

I apologize that you were never given chance. The thought of you, made the selfish, hateful, cruel side of me all too clear. I apologize that I was scared of you. I apologize that what I thought would be said of me, because of you, was greater than the fact that you were mine. I am sad that you will never know me; nor me you.
I can only pray that you hear me and know that you are apart of me. You are in every inhale and exhale. You are never forgotten.
I know one day I will embrace you. I know one day you will be able to understand.
I know that one day you will forgive me, maybe, even one day I will forgive myself.
Maybe you will be able to see that the circumstances caused me to have to make decisions that were not in your best interest.....maybe they were.
I just want to apologize that you were never given a chance.
Love Always,
Mom.

4 comments:

SAILOR MOON said...

this is deep, you should listen to Lauren Hills track about giving her child a chance, i think its called Zion...love kikimia
things happen for a reason i am a strong believer of that..take care

Monie said...

Girl...you have me sobbing over here.

I am just...speechless.

*hugs*

Nina said...

*hugs*

Philly's Andrea said...

I feel you. Dear 2001, and six months later and then again in 2002as I lay damn near dying for being too irresponsible while trying to live life as an adult in a child's body. Please forgive me.