Monday, October 16, 2006

post #175

So much drama

Damn. Yall are not going to believe this but I was driving home Friday and my damn car broke down on me. No lie. Made a noise and quit working. I pulled to the side and my freeken cell phone was almost out of battery. I called my sister and told her where I was and my cell cut off.

I sat there for about forty minutes, thinking about the drama in my life and damn near had a nerves breakdown. I cried and cried and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I felt weak. I even had to throw up a little bit. I felt empty. I am so tired of just bullshit. My life is so FULL of it. I got all my cry out and fixed my face right before my sister arrived.

Got home and cried some more.

Then Flores came over and tried to entice me into some sexual intercourse... and... well... you know.

Saturday, my sister took me to my car and the tow truck company took me and my car to the auto mechanic. It was too late; because, my damn sister waited until 1pm to come pick me up (my sister and her selfishness…another reason for my emotional distress) So the guy couldn’t tell me what was wrong quite yet.

Sony studios works at this bar in Inglewood. It’s real old school think the juke joint in the Color Purple there’s pool tables and smoking and dancing and old men galore. Sonystudios was supposed to bartend but the owner was trippin, she wanted all the tips for her self since it was her birthday. So Sonystudios had invited me and the WHOLE family down for a drink or two and some fun; but by the time we got there she was pissed an ready to go.

So we left there and stood around trying to decided where to go, being that it was 11:30 already and Cali is kind of whack for not having any real late night clubs…everything closes at 2pm.

Sonystudios called the homeboy B who works at a gay bar to find out if he was working that night and he was, so we (the whole family…including their mom and her boyfriend) headed over there. It was cool…music and karaoke and what not. I danced with a guy who was there with his girlfriend (who later Crazychris told me that they were prolly scoping out some one to bring home with them…I didn’t even think about that). B hooked me up with the strongest cosmo I’ve ever had. I was lit on one drink.

Me and Sonystudios ditched the group and headed to LLCOOLJ’s (our home boy from high school). He took us to this underground hip hop spot that was whack. Sony dropped me off at home and the sleep marathon commenced.

Sunday I walked across the street to M&M’s soul food and got me a red snapper dinner with greens, macaroni and cheese, and red beans and rice and a lemonade….I’m finabe chunky yall!!! Why did they go and put an M&M’s across the street from my house? I can see it from my front door step.

When I got home from picking up my to-go order from M&M’s I realized that I hadn’t heard from Flores since Friday…and I got pissed.

Not just at that but at the fact that I could be by myself and feel less alone. I got angry…I was down right pissed. I started thinking about the fact that I only see him every couple of weeks and that we rarely even talk or text and that I told his ass about my car and he didn’t even call and check on me and crazychris did, crazychris has been calling me and making it clear that there is room for something meanwhile I’m waiting around for Flores to get right!

I started thinking…shouldn’t my boyfriend be concerned? Shouldn’t he be calling me to see if I got everything taking care of?

So I called him up and cussed him out… My ranting steamed a little from my emotional instability earlier this weekend. I went on and on explained that I think I’m done with this. Cussed and hooted and babbled a bit and he simply said:
“Stop cussing on a Sunday. You’re absolutely right I have been neglecting you. I’m sorry. You are probably a little stressed about the things going on with you right, now and I haven’t been there for you. But, You and I haven’t been working at this long enough to give up on us. I’ll call you when I get home. I Love you.”
And hung up.

I was pissed. I had put on a show and needed some attention and he gave me none. I just went to sleep. he called me later, but I wasn't ready to be nice so our conversation was quick.

This morning, I took the bus to work and saw some woman beating her son down with her purse. She took him and held his ass on the bus and told him “You going to school today!”

When I got to work, the auto mechanic called me and said my transmission had gone out. 1400 muthafuckin dollars! Yes! I almost fell the fuck out. The car isn’t even worth $500 but to get it fixed it’s 1400?

So I need a new car.

Yall pray for me.


Ms. Write said...

Gurl... I'll be praying for you, and I'll get a lotto ticket for you! Good luck girl!

jirzygurl said...

wow that is a lot of drama... I'll be praying for ya... hang in there. at least you have a boyfriend... don't be too mean :p


Now I know whats its like to have car trouble...I been crashed into twice in 6 months, sooo i know what you mean. The worst thing that can happen to someone when they life iant goin right is when that car stops working, that shit drive sme nuuuuuuuuuuts.
You know what i suggest you do with these two men. Get a peice of paper with both thier names on it, write out the pros and cons of each - and that way you can see it plain as jane the good the bad n the ugly. Theres no denying it once you see it for yourself allll laid out.. trust me!
lov ya kikimiabag