Monday, September 18, 2006

"you're a big girl now, fully grown with your own home now..."

I love Nas.



I love Beyonce’s new CD.

Everybody go buy it now.

Well my weekend was….um ok. I was acting up a little bit; but I have repented my sins so only GOD can judge me. remember that Tupac song? Damn I miss him like I knew him

Thursday Catchacase came over to talk about this myspace baby he has. We talked and shit got tough but then it got better. Let’s just say he has a way of getting out of things. Sigh.

Friday I left work early so that I could go get my hair done. There was another girl at the shop getting her hair done, who I wanted to slap the shit out of. She was the epitome of conceited. She sat there with a mirror in her hand as E (my stylist) curled her hair saying loudly to me and the other chic in the shop “I’m bout to be fine. The niggas is gone be on me. Fuck, and I just got my eyebrows arched…damn I’m gone be fine” no I am not exaggerating that was her exact sentence. The other chic and I just gave each other the “she ain’t THAT fine” look and kept reading our magazines. After she was finished E busted her ass out. I guess last time she got her hair done she wrote a check that bounced so E was like “ I’m only taking cash from you from now on and make sure you include my banking fees” the chic looked all dumbfounded and says “here’s your little old funky 6 dollars” E said “thank you” and snatched the 6 dollars from her. I wanted to fall out; but I maintained my composure.

After sitting up in the shop I went to Lucky strikes with Bigsis and Yas. As soon as I got there they were ready to leave…you know us black folks if there are too many white folks we get concerned. So we left and went to Miyagi’s. That was whack so we went home.

Saturday, Big sis and I went to see Alex perform at BB kings. I had three Cosmopolitan’s and the “shit” began. I am really funny when I drink. Any ways we left BB kings and there was a swarm of folks at City Walk. I mean ‘hold on to your purse’ type crowds. Big sis took me home, I took a quick shower, got dressed and headed to her house in my car. She and I went to pick up Yas and we all went to this club in Long Beach.

It was cool. Nothing much happened. I had three more cosmopolitans. Oh yeah, my sister did see this guy she was dating. He told her he wanted to be with her and all this then stopped calling her altogether. She saw him and got pissed. She went over to him and I don’t know what exactly they were saying but he was left standing there looking dumb. I had told her from the first time I saw him that he was booty crust I guess she has to find it out on her own.

I had catchacase meet me at my house….sigh. When I got to my house, he was sitting on my stairs. Looking like he needed me to get it right on there on the stairs. We got in the house and he literally had me crying. Physical tears poured from my face. My hair was a mess….but who cares what your hair looks like afterwards?

I said at the beginning I was acting up. So don’t get to the middle and forget.

He slept over (My stayed at her dad’s this weekend). In the morning, I don’t never make breakfast…but I did this day. Bacon, eggs the whole nine…there is something to be said about the power of the penis. (Note to self…be sure to write post entitled “Power of the Pussy” regarding the conversation I had with my sister on Saturday)

After catchacase left I, worked on some homework, got up, showered, got dressed went to Walmart and to the grocery store. Then Flores texted me.

I put away the groceries and whatnot’s and (oh yeah this dude by my house walked up on me talking about he was the welcoming committee, can he help me take my groceries in. I laughed in his face. Not only have I been living at my spot for 5 years but that was a weak ass line. I HATE LINES. Be real. Be yourself.)I then swooped to Flores’ new apartment in Long Beach.

I get out the car and he’s like “Damn…you look like a dark skin Aaliyah, which your hair all hooked up...” I wanted to slap him. He knows how much I hate stupid ass comments like that.

Funny thing is, he had on some movie that was starring Cam’ron. I had a thing with Cam some years back (pre-baby...back when I really should have had a blog, back when I used to bump Trina and have tinted windows and rims, back when I didn’t have a real job, back when all that matter was gear and the club…back when I was a club promoter and in a car club…when I was young and fresh and hot.). So I’m sitting at Flores’ house watching Cam, funny.

Amway’s we’re sitting there talking and laughing and watching my old homey lover friend on TV and all of a sudden Flores gets up and gets some tissue and wipes off my lipstick. It was strange. He didn’t say anything, he just did it. Then he grabs my face and kisses me. I love kissing him; but, I pulled away. I squinted my eyes and I could see it.

The hopes I had for a real relationship with him were gone. I just shook my head. I guess he could see it too because he says “just tell me if this is over now.” I was surprised that he was that on it. I didn’t say anything. We just sat there looking at each other.

I got up and put my shoes on (he has white carpet), I gave him a big hug and left. We didn’t say anything else.

I got a text from him that said “Thanks” I wrote back “yeah, thanks” He wrote “Whatever happened? I really like you…” I wrote “You really like having sex with me sadly I really liked you. It’s too hard to pretend that that’s ok.”

Inhale. Exhale.

1 comment:

Paula D. said...

Jenny, girl I have been there before. You did the right thing by leaving. Stay strong.....sometimes it's hard to hold out & break down b/c of the sex.