Friday, May 06, 2005

It's the forbidden-ness of it...

I have this student who is so fine. I’m telling you if I had the opportunity I just might take it. He’s Hispanic and I must admit I’m feeling him. I try so hard to stay away from him due to the fact that fraternizing with students is against school policy. He’s 28, for all yall reading that don’t know I teach college. I’m only 24 so I’m not trying to be on the news as one of those teachers who “took advantage of their students”.

Well anyways, He has been hitting on me quite frequently lately. I tell him that this is inappropriate but I think that just makes him want to do it more.

The first time he ever said anything to me was about three months ago I mentioned that my back was hurting as I bent down to pick something up from the floor in the lab and I moaned as I held my back proclaiming “my back hurts” he says “that’s from too much sexual activity”. Now in normal stance that doesn’t sound to bad but in a teacher student relationship a line was crossed. So I spoke to him very sternly and told him that that was an inappropriate topic for he and I to discuss. In the back of my mind I contemplated replying something else but didn’t.

Another time I had on this skirt and he's all "where you going?" I say "no where".
The next few times were small things like winking and long stares and sexy smiles and light teasing and just tiny stuff. And I have been letting it go. I know deep down that I should be more strict about it but I really haven’t. I could get reprimanded pretty strictly and I haven’t turned down one single staring contest with him. It’s something about the forbidden-ness of it all.

Well the other day I was sitting in class preparing for my class to begin and talking with one of my co-workers. And he came into class early. He says to me “Jenny, I had a dream about you last night.” I don’t look up at him for fear that I’ll be trapped into looking at his eyes. I turn my face to the other teacher and say to him while looking at her “please don’t dream about me.” The other teacher bursts out laughing and asks him, “what did you dream?” I shake my head just hoping that he would refuse to answer (still not looking at him) and he says “I dreamed that we were kissing. And she was a pretty good kisser. I had her pinned up against the wall and it was extremely passionate. It was pretty sexy but I woke up before anything else happened.” I was shocked. The other teacher was shocked. She replied “Well it’s a good thing you did” and begins to laugh. I still can’t look over at him and if I was white I would have been red.

Would you have ever thought to say something like that to your instructor in college?

The other instructor that I was with taught my class that night and I taught hers. So I didn’t have to look at him all night. But if I did I don’t think I could have dealt well with it. I don’t do well with “come back lines” especially if I’m embarrassed.

Then last night my class had a “Cinco-de-mayo” pot-luck. Everyone brought food from different Mexican food spots and this one chick even made home made guacamole and chips. It was jamming on the one. Any chance to have a pot luck I’m going for.

Well for the first half of class they were with the other instructor and then they switched over to me. We pulled out the food and got to eatin. After everyone had almost finished and it’s almost time to get to business. My flirting student came in with a box of pizza. I’m like “When did pizza become Mexican food?” He says “It’s not but mine is special. You know why?” he opens the box and the pizza has two candles on it. He says to the class, tomorrows Jenny’s birthday so we’re all going to sing happy birthday to her.” He calls in the other teachers and they all sing to me. Talk about embarrassed again.

Afterwards, I did their lesson for the day and gave them a worksheet to do. I got up to go to the restroom as I was walking down the hallway he was walking up, he says to me “did you get your card”. I say “no”. I keep walking and when I get to the end of the hall I turn back and look he’s standing there with the sexist smile… chile. I can’t talk about what I was thinking

As long as he is associated with the school I won’t talk about what I’m thinking. Even after he’s done with school I can’t. Just think of how it would look. It would look like he and I had something going on during class. ENOUGH.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Now that is a messed up about temptation! 'Twould be different if he had teef missing or funky underarms, but this cat sounds like he's actually appealing.

Stay strong!