Wednesday, February 09, 2005

A real lady...

...always gets her toes done.

...never wears sandals that are too small.

...never puts lipstick on her eyelids.

...always "blends" her lipliner.

...never wears a ponytail to a job interview.

...realizes that TEETH are of upmost importance.

...knows how to do at least 3 "hold me over until my hair stylist gets back from vacation" hairstyles.

...never lets the dark part of the bottom of her ass show.

..always buys her TRUE size, even if she's out with her petite friends.

...never shaves her eyebrows off to draw them back on with $0.99- eyebrow/lipliner/freckle maker/beauty mark maker/hairline filler- pencil.

...never wears all eightteen of her earrings at one time.

... always shaves under her arms.

...never apologizes for being a single mom. It's the father's embarassment anyway.

... never puts her man before her baby.

...never gets her baby daddy's name or her child's picture tattooed anywhere on her.

...always keeps the livingroom clean.

...always has someone to take out the trash.

...changes the sheets frequently.

...vacums at least once a week.

...always has "spare" underwear.

...never tells ANYONE about the "spare" underwear.

...knows how to or at least can pretend to know how to change a tire (someone's going to stop and help you, just act like you already know how to do it; but, always except the help.

...knows that men need to know that they're needed.

..knows how to cook at least four full course meals perfectly.

...never secretly or publicly lusts over her friend's boyfriend.

...only has two or three GOOD friends.

...has one or two BEST friends.

...realizes that everyone else is just an associate and only informs them on a "need to know" basis.

...never gossips.

...is not afraid to cry.

...only lies when it makes other's feel good.

..has a day planner.

...can type at least 35WPM.

... knows that there is a such thing as a "MAN's JOB".

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